A Few Words
About Me
Where it all started.
As a young teenager, early in the morning before the sun could rise, my father died of a sudden heart attack.
This was not the first death that I had experienced, but it was the first one that significantly impacted my life. It was sudden, it was cold, it was filled with fear.
Fast forward 20 years and I became the caretaker for my mother who had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and non-alcoholic liver disease.
I learned a lot about the healthcare system, but when she passed two years post diagnosis, I was still unprepared for her physical death and how to finalize her life.
We did not really talk about her dying and it left me feeling unprepared to carry out her final wishes.
My grandmother also died around the same time. Her death was so very different.
She was in her own room, her own bed and surrounded by family almost completely around the clock. She was assisted by Hospice, and we had the most loving nurse.
On her final day here on earth she was surrounded by her entire family. We told stories, cried, laughed, ate all together until she took her final breath….and it was beautiful.
My Vision
In America we used to talk about death. We used to care for our dying, in our homes. We prepared for it.
We lived, immersed in what it looks like to say our final good-byes, wash and dress our loved ones for a final time, and then prepare a viewing in our homes for others to say good-bye.
We are, currently, so far removed from the process of dying that we are often afraid of it.
My heart's desire is to help people navigate this difficult time, develop a plan that allows for comfort and care, work alongside a Hospice team or caregiver to make this the most beautiful end.
80% of people polled say they would choose to die at home, surrounded by familiar sights, sounds, smells and family. Yet, only about 20% actually do.
My mission is to educate and advocate so that more people feel empowered to speak up and plan their ending. It's why I do what I do.
My Certification
I completed my End-of-Life training through Care Doula School of Accompanying the Dying, based out of Texas. Teacher, Deanna Cochran, has been instrumental in leading to the growth and awareness of Death Doulas around the world. She continues to share her knowledge with her students, both past and present.
I have engaged with The Dougy Center, a Portland based children’s grief center, for over 30 years in various roles.
I attended the center, as a child, after the death of my dad. As a teen I went through training and began volunteering with kids who had lost loved ones to death. I then returned in the role of a grieving parent when my mother died, and my oldest child needed support. I, finally, returned once more as a volunteer facilitator with the parents of grieving children. I feel truly humbled to walk alongside others in their grief. Grief is such a tricky thing to navigate and can make you feel isolated from those you love because they just don’t understand what you or your children are going through. There is hope through grief and the pain. It will lessen but will always be a part of you.